A letter to the team that manages Miley Cyrus...

Update: Hannah Montana is also on Eggo Waffles! STOP THE INSANITY, PEOPLE!

To the Team that manages Miley Cyrus:

From: A frustrated mother of a young girl

Hello -

My name is Holli ----------------- and I have a four year old daughter. I have been living out of the country for the past four and half years and I somehow managed to miss your young starlet's rocket into stardom. Now, however, she is completely impossible to miss. I am writing for one purpose:

I beg you, sirs, to cease and desist promoting your client to the point that her face is now on toilet paper.

My daughter has no winter clothes. We have been shopping now several times trying to find appropriate clothing to get her through weather that will dip below seventy degrees. (She has never experienced this - hence the need for appropriate clothing)

I have found your client's likeness on the following products:

underwear
blue jeans
socks
t-shirts
dresses
sweaters
pajamas
sheets
lunchboxes
perfume
talcum powder
shampoo
soap
jewelry
a winter coat!
books
a diary!
pencils
crayons
glue sticks
rat poison

Okay - not rat poison, but sirs, I am telling you - I am ready to eat rat poison to simply escape Hannah Montana.

I can't take it anymore. I'm sure she is a very polite, well-behaved young lady. I have never seen her show, and frankly, I have no urge to watch it because I am SICK of her face. Seriously.

Remember the Monkees? Un-hunh. They were over-marketed, too. I saw one of them last week as a judge on Next American Pet Star sitting next to Screech. I'm just saying...